"Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless."
"Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth."
“You know, Dude, I myself dabbled in pacifism once. Not in ‘Nam’ of course.” 
"Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago."
"The road to hell is paved with adverbs."
"There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion."
"You will not rise to the occasion, you will sink to the level of your training."
"I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there." 
'I am a Doctor, not a Bricklayer'
Germany invades Czechoslovakia.
Britain & France tell them to stop that bullshit. But they do nothing, and give up the Czechs.
(Sept 1939) Germany invades Poland.
(Russia also invades Poland from the other side: everybody forgets this.)
Britain & France declare war. This is the ‘official’ kick-off.
Italy, Bulgaria, Hungary, & Romania all join the German side. (Everybody forgets the last three.)
(May 1940) Axis forces go through Europe like vindaloo through a colostomy. France Falls in 6 weeks.
Nazis exterminate Jews, gays, gypsies, & the disabled. (everybody remembers the jews but forgets the rest.)
UK holds out.
Russia & the USA don’t do shit.
Entire divisions of Danish, Belgian, Dutch, Norwegian, French & Serbian volunteers join the Axis armies & SS. (everybody forgets this & to listen to them now, they were all in the fucking resistance, which must have been MASSIVE.)
(May 1940) Axis forces invade Russia. Suddenly the Russians don’t think it’s funny any more.
Japan joins the Axis & bombs Pearl Harbor.
Suddenly the US doesn’t think it’s funny any more.
The USA tools up the world, ’cause it’s got more factories than everybody else put together, & they’re out of bomber range.
Axis runs out of steam in Russia, cause Russia’s enormous & bloody freezing.
It’s all over but the shouting. Russia defeats the German Army at Stalingrad. Germany is in a strategic retreat from 1943 onward.
June 1944, Allies invade on D-Day… 5 landings: 2 British, 2 American, 1 Canadian.
(everybody forgets the Canadians.)
Hitler ends up smouldering in a ditch. Russians find the body & confirm he only had one ball. Seriously.
The US decides invading stuff is a pain in the ass and invents the atom bomb instead. Drops two buckets ‘o sunshine on Japan.
Russians steal half of Europe. All agreed to at the Yalta conference by Roosevelt, Churchill and Stalin.
UK’s spent almost every penny it had.
US starts telling everybody how it was all about them, & 64 years later is still doing so.
“Some of the World War II guys in ‘Call of Duty’ have, like, foreign accents… what’s up with that?”
by Norman D. Landings: My edits in bold.
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Mercedes-Benz G-Wagon LAPV
Features include a diesel engine, a payload of 1.3 tons, a steel body, a mine deflector plate, a tire inflation system, and all kinds of other paramilitary BS. It is a great look for middle America and all those returning GI’s.
Source: Uncrate